What is the meaning

behind, while I breath  I hope?

dum spiro spero

In Latin the phrase

dum spiro spero

 

Until this day it has remained the motto

of those who refuse to quit until the very last breath. 

.

Can it be explained and understood the events and situations that led someone to use drugs commit crimes and get locked up for life.? I will try !

The story of

Bobby Blue

Freedom
Can I break and tear down the world around me,
Tear it down and start again?
It’s Foundation is cracked.
Maybe the Mixture was not complete;
It never solidified.
I am Regrouping now;
I am getting the Professional opinion.
(I am told) Much work has to be done to meet happiness,
I have to trace the fall,
bury the past.
This is no cowards journey.
only the stout of heart can tread this path.
And though the journey is long;
The steps are only twelve.
By Robert Skelly
Aka
Bobby Blue

Storyline

It was a cold day in January 1982. I just turned fifteen. I wasn’t a big guy, so it was easy for me to climb through windows.  I was part of a street crew , BPB (Bay Parkway Boys).  I was  instructed to get in and get out. You see I was already on my way. I even owned a Cadillac, that I parked a few blocks from my house, where I lived with my mother, stepfather and two stepbrothers. My sister already moved out. More about that later.  I was in the process of committing a burglary when I was interrupted by a police officer. I hid in the closet; I held the door tight hoping he would not find me. I heard him take his gun out of its holster. He knew I was in there. he said “come out now! Don’t make me shoot you”. I had gotten away so many times before, I knew I was in trouble now! This was my first brush with death but there would be many more.  

My story needs to go back a few years. I was born on November 24, 1967, to Susan Skelly and Joseph Leone. I can only tell you what my mother told me. She told me she had decided to give me up for adoptions. She made plans with the social worker at the hospital. She told the social worker she was overwhelmed she already had two small children and she was in a bad situation that could only get worse, and she wanted something better for me. The social worker told her it was an act of love and courage, so she spent all the nine months not connecting to the baby growing in her womb. I don’t know what a social worker would say about that. But I do know I always feel like my mother is trying to put me some place!

Every thing comes down to this moment 

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Memories Storm My Mind

Memories storm my mind; savagely tearing apart any moments of serenity that wrestle their way in. Hope, it seems, has abandoned my cause; seeking safer shores where at least flickers of sanity reside. My pessimistic conscience tells me that I am reaping what I have sown: pain for pain. But at those moments when I want to give up, a child’s voice, barely above a whisper, keeps repeating in my head “there is only one way out; you must ride the storm, rebuking the urge to seek comfort on alien shores; you must chart a new course, a brilliant beginning towards the sun knowing that you will find her waiting for you, where she’s always been.

AKA Bobby Blue – Robert Skelly 2016

Smile

Through a sea of steel, concrete, and bars, I move and feel, all my scars.

 Many remain old wounds not healed, from a past pain not yet sealed.

Life as a child I trembled with fear of an adult gone wild a thousand beating severe.

“You’re no good “!! Still it’s repeating, as she would through every beating.

 Telltale screams fill my head with a past that seems never dead.

Sweat soaked sheets almost every night.

Where my sanity retreats, I search for sight.

 Now I walk with sorrow, bearing a tortured soul, no comfort to borrow.

Still, I pay my toll and I’ll walk this mile, head held high, only I hope to smile before I die

AKA Bobby Blue – Robert Skelly